I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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