i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
