Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
