The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
