I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
