It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Randomize
