Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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