Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
