The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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