# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
