i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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