very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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