His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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