Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
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