So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
