wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
