All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
