Non-Jews are for practice
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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