Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Randomize
