Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
