i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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