I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
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