she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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