i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
