I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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