i jhust puked up my retainher.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Two words: blizzard sex
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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