so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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