think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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