I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
