I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
