Plan B is the new Plan A
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
