Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
