wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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