matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
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