Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
