I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
