Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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