Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
