Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I just gargled with NyQuil
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize
