Your mouth is God's brothel.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
