He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
