What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
