This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
