O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
