therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
it glows. i had to have it.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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