Ketchup is God's man juice
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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