I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
