I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
