Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
