So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
