508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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