so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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