would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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